"what I should do if I were to leave"

Making a safety plan makes Mary feel more confident about the steps to take if she decides to leave the abusive relationship. It is important to have a safety plan even if you have not decided to leave the relationship. Since violent episodes can happen suddenly, it is important to have a plan which explores the safest way for you and your children to leave. Below are some suggestions provided by Alberta Shelters.

If you are contemplating leaving an abusive relationship, there are some things you should do that may assist you in the process of leaving.

Make a safety plan
Contact places in the community for support
Assess your safety and that of your children
Contact a shelter for a safe place to stay
Seek interim custody
Seek a support system from family, friends, and advocates

Escape Plan

Make sure you have important documents
Save money in secret when you can
Find a safe place to go: friends, shelter, family
Keep extra keys and clothes with friends
Secure transportation
Work out a signal system with a friend
Go when he is gone
Don't tell him you are leaving
Create an excuse to slip away



"safety plan"

Mary tells us that she phoned for information when she was considering leaving the abusive relationship. She was told to make a list of crucial things to have in place before making a decision. The following is a sample list.

Safety Plan
If you are a woman experiencing violence you should have a safety plan for getting out of the house.

There are some important documents that you need to have with you. Copy and collect all important documents and place them in a safe place.

  • Alberta Health Care and Social Insurance Cards
  • Driver's license/registration
  • Credit cards and bank card
  • Personal identification (including picture ID)
  • Birth certificate
  • Immunization card for the children
  • Immigration papers (if applicable)
  • Treaty Card (if applicable)
  • Custody order
  • Personal chequebook
  • Last banking statement
  • Mortgage papers

When leaving an abusive situation you should also make sure you take personal items.

  • Prescribed medication
  • Personal hygiene products
  • Glasses/contact lens
  • Money (if possible)
  • Clothing (night wear, underwear)
  • Heirlooms, jewelry
  • Photo albums (pictures that you want to keep)
  • Craft, needle work, hobby work

For your children you should also try to bring with you:

  • Medication
  • Soother/bottles
  • Clothing (night wear, underwear)
  • Special blanket, toy
October 1998

©1998-1999 Legal Resource Centre of Alberta.
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